Emo Phillips interview
Published in The Calgary Herald on Sept. 14, 2006
Emo takes ownership of long comedy career
Usually, when you're this funny for this long, there's at least a sitcom or movie deal that comes with it.
But Emo Phillips, who is celebrating his 30th year in standup comedy with a continental tour, has a reasonable explanation.
"I have no acting ability," he says frankly. "Whatever you see is what I am. I have a very short attention span so . . . I'm bored. But no, I'm a live comic, I become a deer in headlights when there's a camera on. I have this feeling like I'm being immortalized, like I should be chipping my jokes into granite. Like I'm suddenly competing with the likes of Charlie Chaplin.
"When the camera's off, I can just relax and worry about entertaining the audience that's present."
Born Philip Soltanec in Downers Grove, Ill., 50 years ago, Phillips has been performing comedy for longer than he hasn't. With his distinctive medieval-style bob haircut and exaggerated, high-pitched delivery, he's instantly recognizable and quite unforgettable.
You may have seen him in Weird Al Yankovic's film UHF, or on the short-lived Weird Al Show on CBS (where he'd wave to the camera and say, "Hi mom . . . I'm sorry, your cameraman looked just like my mother.")
"When I was a kid, my only ambition was to be in show business," he says. "And I realized that I sucked at this and that, and finally I narrowed it down to comedy, because it's the only profession where you need no skills. Those that can't do make fun of those that can. As long as you can make an audience laugh, nothing else matters.
"And most comedians don't hit their stride until a decade or two in. It's like being a novelist, you need a lot of heft behind you. It's also one of the few professions that's age-proof."
Like Stephen Wright and Mitch Hedburg, Phillips slays audiences with one-line jokes.
For instance: "There's nothing like that first pot of coffee, is there? I've tried other enemas . . ." Or, "The worst part of a person's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the Devil."
Because these sort of jokes are so simple, they're easy to plagiarize on the Internet.
Wright has experienced that with a number of his jokes, which go uncredited. But Phillips says its rarely other comedians stealing jokes, it's usually laypeople.
"There's a tremendous code of honour amongst standup comedians, which was another thing that drew me in to the profession," he says. "For instance, the Yuk Yuk's chain is run by Mark Breslin, who has a lot of integrity and bans comedians who knowingly steal material. There's a lot of honour and pride amongst comedians. We're like samurais."
Still, there are constant allegations on the Internet about one comedian stealing another's material.
Which brings up the question, does anyone really own a joke? Or is it public domain once it's been uttered?
Phillips himself had one particular joke (reprinted below) voted the best religious joke of all time on Anglican Church website Shipoffools.com -- but he wasn't credited for writing it.
"It's nonsense to say that no one has ownership of a joke, of course you have ownership of a joke," Phillips says.
"I mean, you have ownership of a painting or a symphony or a novel, don't you? The problem is that no one comes up to someone in a bar going, 'Hey, you wanna hear a novel? It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . .' "
nlewis@theherald.canwest.com
The Funniest Religious Joke of All Time as Told by Emo Phillips
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.
I said, "Don't do it!"
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!"
And I pushed him over.
